So...it's a Girl!

That's not the best news we got though... From my very first doctor appointment here they have told me that the baby is not growing properly. At first they said it was 3-4 weeks little and no heartbeat and go home and wait for bleeding since I was refusing their continued offer for an abortion. Even a couple months ago when I had an ultra sound they were concerned that she looked small..but everything else looked great! Last week, for the first time, we were told the baby is exactly the size she should be! I started crying and said "so she has caught up?" They said everything looks healthy and strong and showed me a graph of her in the dead center of the size she should be. This is our miracle.

Now about it being a girl. I have always said I never could have a girl. When Haven was born I went into freak out mode and tried to leave her at the hospital. When they told me the first time they thought this one was a girl I was sad for the loss of the boy I thought I was carrying (I have no mother's intuition) and then I was really excited to have another girl.

I can't believe we will now have 4 girls! That is a little scary. I think about when all the other kids are grown, we will have this girl with us by herself for 4 years! That excites me...I just hope we aren't too old by that time to enjoy her

Nunchakus

I saw this add today --in a swap for expats here. I have a thought that it might be a Chinese person who wrote this add. His name:Nunchakus I copied and pasted --just deleted the city name. Don't forget give him calling!




Nunchakus teaching

Learn how to use nuchakus (2 sticks connected by a chain). Fun to learn and to perform with.
Now in K______,we have the best teaching group and ample experience,you don't worry about if you can do that,we can use the truth to prove it. Try it, you will take a surprise back to your family in 3 mouths,and it will accompany you the whole life:it called Chinese Kongfu.
Don't forget give me calling and told me you suggestion,if I can' be your master,I can be your friend.
My name:Nunchakus My phone:2273415

Driving

I refuse to drive here --even a bike or scooter -more than 10min. from our home. There is no way to explain the way they drive here--but I want to try. First of all it is a "me first" way of life here. They will quickly tell you how they don't wait in lines --and driving is the same way. The white dashed lines that show the boundries of the lane --mean nothing here. Where it is 3 lanes --there will be 4-5 at all times --and even if there are no other cars on the road --strattling the lines --driving in two lanes is always done.

Today we took the van out --to the discount shopping area that takes us 20-30min. by scooter to get to. After an hour of driving we arrived. At one point a yellow vester directed us to the bus lane because of so much traffic --we followed the buses for a while before being able to get out of that gated lane. When we got almost home there was another (maybe #5) traffic jam at a intersection without a light or stop sign near out house. We sat for 30minutes --with cars and bikes and people, carts and horses stopped from all directions and everyone refusing to give an inch and more people ramming in from every direction -it was crazy! I walked home with the kids while Steve tried to just get to the side of the road to park until things got straightened out.
If you never make eye contact with someone you can do whatever you want --pull out in front of them --cut them off --walk in front of them at a green light --just make sure you never make eye contact.
My biggest fear is we will hit someone or hurt someone. When we bought our van we asked if they could install seat belts for the kids in the back --so far there has been "no solution" to ordering a few sets of seat belts --we are still looking and waiting... in the mean time kids have been flying out of seats like pinballs in the back. When I drive my 3 wheele scooter with kids on the back we use a bungee chord to strap them on --it's quite cute! A week or so ago there was a 3 wheele bike with two toddlers standing in the back and when the dad stopped one fell straight on his head on the pavement --you could hear his head hit. We have seen so many accidents with puddles of blood left behind.
Although I will never drive here...I LOVE to ride on the back of Steve's scooter with him. We dream of when we are old riding around on a Harley till we die --this is our preview of that! Even though I am getting bigger --at least once a week Steve takes me across town on his scooter for a date -our neighbors think we are crazy "safty first!" they yell at us every time. (I have started wearing a helmet since I am pregnant).

"Personal Space"

(we have no idea who this guy is but he had his girlfriend taking pictures non-stop)

I read an article yesterday about how to be culturly correct in other countries. In this ariticle is said in Asian countries (such as the one we live in) that personal space is sacred --you don't touch another persons arm etc... I read this several times to make sure I was reading it right. Let me be the one to say --there is no such thing as "personal space" where we live!



This has been one of the most shocking things for us to overcome the past year. When Livia was a baby and we visited I had to have her strapped to my body to keep others from taking her and passing her around. On one of our first walks here a grandma picked up Bria and carried her away --teasing (I think) but non the less a little odd! We are constantly grabbed and pulled to whatever people want us to look at -or if they want others to look at us. The kids hair are pawed at so much that their hair is pulled (on accident) I believe that is largely the reason Bria wanted her hair cut short. Livia has been carried off more times than I can count --it doesn't matter if she cries or tries to wiggle free --they just smile "how cute!" and carry her away to show her off. On buses --they can be so crowded that they don't let anymore people on--which I thought they had no standard of "too many people". To get on and off a bus during busy times I'm pretty sure I am molesting most of the people on it (again not intentionally).

When in a crowd or store and you bump into someone --you never make eye contact or say "I'm sorry" It is just common that you will do that with so many people and you don't say anything! I am still the weird foreigner that is constantly saying "due bu qi". Anwhere that there is a "line" like a check out in a store people will cut --many times --everyone behind you will be pressing up against you --pushing you --your stuff --either to get ahead of you or make sure no one else does. Steve just knows that if I am in line by myslef I will never make it to the front --NEVER. I don't have it in me! I just get really big eyes of disbelief and nervousness because I don't know what to do and cannot be forceful with people. He will see me eventually getting farther and farther back in line --wide eyes mumbling "oh, excuse me, I'm sorry" because I don't know what else to do, and he will rescue me.

When we first moved into where we are --we are the only foreigners here and we had been "remodeling" or finishing the apartment for a month -everyone was VERY curious. People would just walk right in our home all the time and check it out! I didn't have any language skills yet and just smiled took them on a tour! One time when Steve came home I was doing one of my tours to an elderly couple and Steve said "who are they?" Again I said, "how should I know!" Steve talked to them for a little while and they were from the village behind our subdivision -they had heard there were foreigners from others who had taken my "tours" and wanted to see how we lived. Again, "what personal space?!"

Pictures. Our kids have been in thousands --I am not exaggerating ---thousands of pictures the past year. Everyone seems to have a cell phone that they listen to music on the tiny speakers with and take pictures of anyone they want to say is their friend. Even Isaiah has been pulled by teenage girls and boys for pictures posed with arms around him as thier "friend". On our schools field day at a college campus we tried to leave the field and literally couldn't. Hundreds of teenagers were pulling all 5 of our kids for hundreds and hundreds of pictures --like they were movie stars or something --it took us literally an hour to get off the field.

There are foreigners here that this "personal space" issue seems to affect more than it does us. Some put full face visors on their kids --like Michael Jackson did with the scarfs on his kids. The dad told us that this was to keep others from looking and touching them and taking their picture. Many foreigners don't let pictures be taken of their kids --this is very akward for everyone. The mom acts like the body guard "No! No pictures!" The children say "No I'm not allowed!" and the fun smiles of the curious people here fade into confusion and embarrassment. We have told our kids we are the visitors here -their guests, and they think we are different, special and cute! When the grandma was carrying away Bria --we could hear Bria's giggles all the way down the street. Her response was "I didn't know the grandmas here were so strong!" She loved it! We have tried to make the akward parts of this culture fun --an experience -an adventure! Our kids LOVE it here -they love the people --the younger ones are already fitting right in and running around like they were born here.

I still get embarrassed as I squeeze my body against everyone elses trying to get off the bus, and say "excuse me" when I or others bump into me --but I wouldn't trade it for the world. We really are on an adventure! It's kind of fun to be considered special and sometimes even cute!

Starting Again!

So, we have lived here a year this month. I can't believe that. Someone asked me Tuesday if we had been here long and I immediatly said "NO". He said he had --has been here a year now!
I said maybe we have then. This guy continued to tell me that after a year of living here you have experienced everything you will experience at least one time. My face dropped and I said "that is so sad, I don't believe it!"

After living here a year I feel I have SO much more to experience -enjoy and discover. This guy got me thinking all week. What crazy things do I see each day and not think twice about or even notice. In some ways what he said is true, but I won't let him be right. I have committed to myself to experience new things at every chance I get. I am going to look for opportunities to discover what makes life so crazy and unique here.

Some things that I have to check off my list as "new": Things I have experienced for the first time living here the past year:
1. Seeing grade school girls pooping off the curb every day -and not being the least bit embarrassed
2. Eating bugs, fried intestines, duck lungs, sour blood and bone marrow, many fruits, veggies, and mushrooms etc.. that I have never seen or heard of before.
3. Making the best fried goat cheese you have ever tasted
4. Finding people groups that no one knows exactly where they were located before
5. Dancing in a village on my birthday
6. Celebrating our first Chinese New Year
7. Watching and listening to friends and neighbors worship to ancestors and crazy god's -out of fear.
8. Seeing bound feet grandmas around every corner
9. Seeing every small boys penis --their split pants --penis are everywhere -even sitting in the Walmart cart and McDonalds booth.
10. Driving my precious children on the back of my 3 wheel scooter in CRAZY traffic -hearing them screaming from the back "MAMA!" every time a truck almost hits them.
11. Sending my 3 youngest kids to a Chinese kindergarten where after lunch they are required to strip down to their underwear for rest time and pee in a bucket because the "bathroom" troughs were already cleaned.
12. Being on my 3rd bus of the day when I got a call the buses were being bombed and stay away from them --then taking 2 more because it was my only transportation at the time.

This is just a start of my list...my goal is to have new experiences for every month we live here. I love it here! In some ways it is good this is our home now and doesn't seem so foreign, but this place is so exciting! I want to see it the way it should be --not taking one moment or experience for granted. This is the passion of my blogging again: A new year in Asia